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So much of our world at moved online over the past year: work meetings, friend hangouts, and yep, even counselling. I know this year has been A LOT, but I think this is one of the silver linings— finding ways of connecting and getting support without having to put on pants! I've been working online with clients for a couple of years now and I love it. My clients who I used to see in-person are totally on board too, which to me says a lot. Even though I’m a huge advocate for it, I know that it’s a different way of doing things and some people might be on the fence, so let’s dive right in and talk about how to make online therapy work for you!
First off, I want to acknowledge that online therapy isn’t for everyone. There are just some situations and circumstances where it’s not going to work. Keep these in mind to really make sure that online therapy is right for you.
You shouldn’t do online therapy if:
You don’t have a private space where you feel you can share freely. The last thing you want is to be in a position where you’re holding yourself back and not sharing openly because you’re worried that someone is going to overhear you. This will ultimately be a waste of your time, as healing happens when you’re feeling safe and able to be vulnerable.
You don’t have a reliable internet connection. I know this one sounds obvious, but nothing is worse than starting to talk about something personal and then, boom, suddenly you can’t see or hear the person you’re sharing with. One off tech issues are a thing we can't avoid, but a consistently choppy and unreliable internet connection is really hard to work around.
You don’t feel ready to work through your issues. This goes for online or in-person therapy. You’ve got to be in a place where at least a part of you is ready to do the work. Being scared is fine, normal in fact, but you’ve got to be ready!
If privacy or technology are issues for you, in-person counselling is probably the best option. Hopefully you can find someone amazing in your area! And until you are feeling ready to dive deeper, there are some amazing books and resources online to help you ease into the process :)
Ok, now that we've looked at couple of the issues, let's look at what makes it great:
You can really find an amazing fit for a therapist! This isn’t as much of an issue in bigger cities, but, for those of you in smaller towns this is such a great thing! Research shows that the most important factor in effective counselling is the relationship that you develop with your counsellor. Plus, in a small town it can feel uncomfortable to have your therapist be someone you’ll see around town, maybe knows a lot of the same people you know… even though they’re required to keep things confidential, I get that it can still not feel great. So you’ve got so many more options! Yay!
You get to have the appointment from the comfort of your own home! Get cozy with your fave blanket, squishy pillows, and your favourite cup of tea. You get to have all the comforts of home while you explore the tough stuff. Heck, you can even wear you’re PJ’s! We won’t judge.
No travel time! How awesome is that? Especially because sometimes sessions can be intense, and last thing you want to do is have to drive home after! This way you can shift right into comfortable chill mode if that’s what you’re needing.
Now, there are a few things to keep in mind in getting ready for your online sessions. You obviously won’t be heading out to a therapists office, so how you get yourself set up is important. Here are some things to keep in mind:
Lighting matters! Your words are, of course, so important to your therapist. Keep in mind that body language and facial expression is also a huge part of therapy. Especially if your therapist practices somatic therapy, like I do. We say so much through non-verbal communication. I notice all the time that a client can say something matter of factly, and then notice a clench in their jaw, or tears come to their eyes. Those signs are so important for us to notice, so make sure your therapist is able to see you clearly
Camera position is also particularly important for those therapists who practice somatic therapy. Obviously seeing your face is the most important, but being able to see your upper torso is super helpful. While we’re being present with your words, Somatic Therapists are also noticing things like shoulders hunching or raising, breath pattern changes, and even shift in heart rate. There is so much to pay attention to, and the more we can see the better we are able to tune into you and what’s happening on that very important somatic level.
Get comfy! You’re going to be sitting for a while, so make sure you’re comfortable! Have comfort objects around you if you know you’re going to have a particularly challenging session, like a stuffed animal, blankets, crystals, or anything that helps you to feel grounded. Have water, tea, tissues or anything you think you might want or need close by.
Limit interruptions as much as possible. Turn your phone to silent, close out your email on your computer, and let anyone who is home know that you’re going to need quiet and privacy for a while. Set yourself up for having a safe and contained environment, this makes all the difference
Now, we can prepare ourself and have things all set up, and guess what… it still won’t be perfect. Here are a couple of issues that may arise during your sessions:
Tech issues. I think we’ve all dealt with our share of these over the past year, no? Well, they’re bound to happen in your therapy sessions too. Depending on the platform you’re using for your sessions your therapist should have some recommendations to navigate those issues. It can be a good idea to have a set of headphones close by even if you don’t plan on using them in case of audio issues. And sometimes you may lose connection completely with your therapist. Keep in mind that is this happens, they are still there holding space for you. Once the connection is restored I encourage you to take a minute to settle back in, especially if the disconnect happened at a particularly sensitive time.
It’s also important to keep in mind there will probably be some distractions. Most of my clients know my cat Dash by now. He often comes to hang out during sessions and show off how cute he is. Fortunately most of my clients seem to be cat people and love his appearances! Just be prepared for distractions and know that this can be a part of the at-home experience.
It can also be tough to shift into “therapy mode” from home. Over time, you’ll get used to it. I encourage you to take some time to settle in before or at the very beginning of your session to transition out of whatever you were doing. I also recommend setting yourself up in the same spot for each session when that’s possible, and having a little ritual to support your shift into therapy. Doing something like lighting a candle, a body scan, or even having a quick convo with yourself about moving into therapy mode can all be helpful.
So, while online therapy might not be for everyone, it many ways it is an amazing option for receiving support. In my biased opinion, the pros definitely outweigh the cons!
If you’re interested in checking out online therapy and think I might be a good for you, you can book in a complimentary 20 minute consult here!
Wishing you all the best in your healing journey!